Are you crazy?
Watch this laugh-out-loud video (and I'm not a laugh-out-loud kind of person):
"You will be unjamming printers until your hands bleed. You will be threatened with physical violence over a 10c fine while children scream because they have used up their computer time on Robot Unicorn Attack."
Ah, been there.
"Have you ever been shanked with a pair of safety scissors for refusing to extend a due date?"
"I think most problems with patrons are missed opportunities for teachable moments."
For the record, I haven't been shanked, but I have been stalked and body-checked on the street by a patron, and yes, I have hidden the scissors.
But you have to laugh. Otherwise, you just might cry.